2/16/16, Fragment

Radio Man sings of bruised euphoria
And I hate him.
For narrating this string of passing scenes
So incisively;
For stealing my chance
To name my pain
So effectively, I pass
Inattentively
Through small victories:
A drive on the highway, another pound lost, a promotion.
Surveying the ache for white flags, daily
But my hands always come back red

3/16/15, 1/17/17

And then there’s the pain.
Your eyes are suddenly overcast.
My heart sinks in my chest-
An unwelcome reflex.

I feel like I’m starting to lose where I end,
And where I begin:

I am afraid.
Terrified, actually,
That this,
Is going to be just last time:
Years,
Spent crushed,
Under my own,
Optimism.

Maybe
If I just try a little harder,
If I love a little more,
If I give a little more,
I can make it go away.
Not just in the moment,
But,
Really.